Written: June 5th, 2025

Do you hear it?
Someone is screaming 
– I think.

But I am smiling.

I hear the echo of it once again. 
Who is screaming?
No one turns to look with me.
No face wears signs of alarm around me. 
Yet I feel a weight beginning to press on my chest.

It couldn’t be me. 
– I’m smiling.

It couldn’t be me…

Yet I find the scream has no sound 
It is unending.
It rises up under the hollow of my ribs
It gnaws the silence.
It gnaws my smile. 
Its sharp cry pains me

My eyes finally land on it’s owner
She’s smiling.
– She’s me. 

I didn’t know 
You could scream 
Without a sound.
Did you?

I didn’t know grief could wear a face so calm. 
That one could take steps – even smile
With such a burden
And it be invisible. 

Did you know you can smile
and silently scream?
Maybe not even realize
– for a moment –
the scream is yours? 

Oh Lord, what kind of world is this, 
where mothers, fathers, sisters, and loved ones
learn the language of the silent scream?

What did they sound like to You
when you breathed time into existence?
What did they feel like to You
as you bore them in your own cross-shaped silence?

Oh Lord, we wait, 
For you to unravel death itself
and gather the fragments of our groaning. 
For the silencing of all silent screams. 

Oh Lord, have mercy 
How can we wait in sackcloth and ashes?
Bear us up Lord – it is the only way. 
Let the ringing of resilience resound through the darkness.
Let stubborn shouts of joy bind themselves
with the weeping of the grieved 
To make melody together.
A sacrifice and a worship. 
We wait in hope.

Be faithful,
Be true.
Be near. 
Lord, we pray. 

Amen