Ricky and I wanted a third child. Our New Years Eve celebration turned extra exciting as I got to tell Ricky and friends that I was pregnant .

When we told the girls, Brynlee thought we were celebrating a birthday and Rellie asked “Are we actually having a baby?!”. She then proceeded to run around our home whooping and cheering before coming over to me and gently touching my belly.

Gemma was born via emergency c-section at 37 weeks. 6lbs 14 oz, 19.3 inches and some glorious hair met Ricky and I as we finally found out that we had a third daughter. She spent 2.5 days in the NICU but she kept getting stronger. We were both discharged by 6pm Monday and I sat with her in the back seat on our short drive home feeling victorious.

Her sisters had drawn pictures and I’ve never seen them so excited before. Ricky carried the car seat in as I sat on the couch with them waiting for them to finally meet their baby sister. They were overjoyed. They got to hold her and love on her. We spent three wonderful days together in our home. We sang to her. The girls fought over who would hold her. Rellie showed up in our room in nothing but her underwear to get skin to skin time and feed her a bottle. Brynlee played with her toes and was the MOST proud to be a big sister. She was utterly delighted to have a baby. I walked around with her in my night dress all day. Her Mimi changed her diapers. Daddy took all three babies on a walk to get some sun. I washed her glorious hair and little body. I gobbled her neck and smooched her belly. There was a sense of wholeness to our family.

I noticed Thursday that Gemma hadn’t really eaten and we found ourselves on our way back to the hospital. They quickly found she had an enterovirus infection, a common virus. Rather than get better over the next 24 hours Gemma quickly deteriorated and coded for the first time as doctors intubated her. We were again consoled that she would start to get better, and yet she only got worse. Her immune system was over responding and began to attack her organs. She fought three more days, through several critical moments and resuscitations, a life-flight and being placed on ECMO before her heart stopped working completely. We would later find that in addition to the viral infection and its complications, Gemma had also developed a bowel perforation that had caused a bacterial infection that is extremely resistant to antibiotics.

I held her and sang to her while Ricky held us both as she passed.

At 2:45 Monday afternoon, Ricky and I walked our daughter down the hallway to the same song I walked down the aisle to on our wedding day. Nearly 30 people had shown up to stand witness to the value and worth of Gemma’s life as we gave her away to be with her Bridegroom. They wept with us. They surrounded us. They prayed for us. They held us up as we hit our knees in grief. Where two or more are gathered, there He is.

Though Gemma’s 10 days of life were here and gone too quickly, we know that this isn’t the end of our story together. Her life and death will change people – redeem people. We know this because she was made to reflect the image of the God who also lived and died and redeemed people. Right now we believe our beautiful Gemma shines in glory awaiting the day when Christ brings the resurrection life He won when He walked out of His own tomb. At that time every sad thing will come untrue and we will sing with our daughter Holy, Holy, Holy to the King.