Tag: grief
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Whose Hands Are We In?
Written: October 2, 2025 I visited a friend today. She answered the door with a mostly naked, almost 1-year old baby on her hip. I cheered him on as he pushed his red wagon across the floor, nearly walking. I watched him crawl into the kitchen and babble “mama”. I got to rub his back…
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It’s Still the Beginning
Written: August 11, 2025 In the beginning, I remember hearing, “Early grief is the first two years.” In the beginning, I remember wondering, “How could anyone bear this pain for years?” We are no longer at that beginning, but still, it is the beginning. And I continue to wonder, “How did we bear this pain for a…
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A Silent Scream
Written: June 5th, 2025 Do you hear it?Someone is screaming – I think. But I am smiling. I hear the echo of it once again. Who is screaming?No one turns to look with me.No face wears signs of alarm around me. Yet I feel a weight beginning to press on my chest. It couldn’t be me. – I’m smiling.…
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Can suffering produce any good?
Since Gemma passed, I see in my life that my capacities for gratefulness, love, joy and the ability to see beauty have enlarged. Suffering has filled these cups to the brim and they now overflow. I’m slowing down not just because of the burden of loss, but because my eyes now wear the lens of…
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My Body Remembers
Written: February 6, 2025 Another clump of hair clings to the shower wall. It’s been days of this.My hairbrush is full. I tear out the strands daily. I can tell my hair is thinning. This is a normal occurrence post-partum, to shed hair.It’s occurred with all three of my babies.Previously only a minor inconvenience Highlighting the abundance…
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Psalm 123 Remixed
Our Eyes Look to the Lord Our God To you I lift up my eyes, O you who are enthroned in the heavens! Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master,as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress,so our eyes look to the…
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We Met Five Months Ago
I sit here five months away from that terrible and beautiful day you were born. The day that started us on this path of separation. But it’s also the day I found out you had beautiful thick hair and fuzzy little shoulders.
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Remembering Her at Christmas
I sit here next to her grandparents’ Christmas tree, a cozy fire nearby. I should not be sad in a place like this, and yet sorrow finds me even when the happiest season of all encompasses me. Next to this lighted Christmas tree, I sit in my memory today, when four months ago, I triumphantly…
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A Christmas Song for the Bereaved
A baby was born at night to save creation, symbolizing hope amid suffering. The King of Kings arrives as Emmanuel, witnessing human pain and bringing light to darkness. Despite the sorrow, a new song of joy proclaims His presence, as angels celebrate the arrival of the newborn King.
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The God Who Weeps: Exploring Divine Sorrow
Grief is a right response to a world where children die. We want to hide the grieving away, to preserve our privileged view of security. We try to cover our vulnerability and the inevitability that suffering will come to us all. We want to pretend that the world isn’t writhing in agony, but the grieving…
A Mother's Lament 