Tag: infantloss
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It’s Still the Beginning
Written: August 11, 2025 In the beginning, I remember hearing, “Early grief is the first two years.” In the beginning, I remember wondering, “How could anyone bear this pain for years?” We are no longer at that beginning, but still, it is the beginning. And I continue to wonder, “How did we bear this pain for a…
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A Silent Scream
Written: June 5th, 2025 Do you hear it?Someone is screaming – I think. But I am smiling. I hear the echo of it once again. Who is screaming?No one turns to look with me.No face wears signs of alarm around me. Yet I feel a weight beginning to press on my chest. It couldn’t be me. – I’m smiling.…
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Can suffering produce any good?
Since Gemma passed, I see in my life that my capacities for gratefulness, love, joy and the ability to see beauty have enlarged. Suffering has filled these cups to the brim and they now overflow. I’m slowing down not just because of the burden of loss, but because my eyes now wear the lens of…
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My Body Remembers
Written: February 6, 2025 Another clump of hair clings to the shower wall. It’s been days of this.My hairbrush is full. I tear out the strands daily. I can tell my hair is thinning. This is a normal occurrence post-partum, to shed hair.It’s occurred with all three of my babies.Previously only a minor inconvenience Highlighting the abundance…
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Psalm 123 Remixed
Our Eyes Look to the Lord Our God To you I lift up my eyes, O you who are enthroned in the heavens! Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their master,as the eyes of a maidservant to the hand of her mistress,so our eyes look to the…
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The Scar of Suffering Love
Where is the salt that I may rub it into my wound and be scarred for life with remembrance of her.
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A Good Day for the Grieving Mother
Today was a “good” day. I seemed to hit my cues a little better in this dance routine I’ve been practicing between grief and joy.
A Mother's Lament 